I feel like self-love can be quite controversial. It’s as though, to truly and really love yourself you must an egomaniac, you must be selfish and self centred and arrogant. Well I say that is crap. I’m sorry but in my opinion self-love is necessary. I am not arrogant or an egomaniac, actually i’m highly sensitive, I am thoughtful and considerate. But I spent so long in my life not liking myself. I didn’t like myself. Me! Me who I have been through everything with. Me who will always be there no matter what.
I didn’t like the way I looked or the way I spoke, I didn’t like what I thought about or that I was different to other people. If I seemed confident it was a front. For anyone who may have known me in the past may have thought I was arrogant or confident but I wasn’t. I was incredibly insecure and hiding it from the world and myself so as not to feel vulnerable or unsafe. What I actually needed was love. Love from other people helps it can create a tiny glimmer of self-esteem but not like loving yourself. That is where self-esteem comes from.
I have been reading a book, sent to me by my wonderful Auntie, called Journey to the Heart by Melody Beattie which is just a wonderful, joyful book which I highly recommend. The passage for May the 18th sparked this thought for me;
‘Love All Of Yourself’
‘Do more than just accept yourself, tolerate yourself, put up with yourself, endure who you are. Love yourself.
There came a time in my life when I simply could no longer put up with putting up with myself. I had talked about self-love. I had said it out loud that I loved myself. The words were good, but they didn’t ring true. I had to actually begin experiencing and practicing love for myself. It became the next step on my path.
To live in a magical way, one in which you connect with the universe, loving yourself isn’t optional. It comes first. To hear the quiet voice of your heart so you know when you’re being led, to hear your thoughts so you can see what you really believe, to trust and open your heart, you must first experience love for yourself.
Have you abandoned yourself? Let yourself see if that’s true, feel if that’s true. Then learn to experience love for yourself.
Learn to love the way you handle things. Love your unique way of learning, growing and seeing things. Love where you’ve been. Love what you’ve done. Love where you are, and what you’re doing now.
Love how you look, smell and feel. Love the colour of your eyes, the colour of your hair, and the radiance in your heart. Love how you laugh. Love how you cry. Love your mistakes, and love all the good you’ve done. Love it all. Love all of you.
Step into love for yourself, and the universe will reflect that love back to you.’ (Melody Beattie, Journey to the Heart pg.143-144)
Sending you love,